Nyctanthes After November

 

 

 

It's the peace before the storm which gives the illusion of tranquility, till the blizzard hits and everything crumbles..Yes I fell, fell from the stars to the rock bottom of reality as i saw all those lights dimmed into darkness. Its the moment of reckoning that an incident has the divinity of making or breaking us.. And yes I did got broken, every piece of my body & every inch of my soul to a point that was beyond repair. The aftershocks of irreversible damages broke the bridges I was too weak to build, for I was alone and lonely, fighting a battle of my own.. A battle for me & my existence, & the choice to decide whether I should live or die was not mine. For that I had to fight, to show them, there is still something inside of me that is still living or trying is best to survive..

I had to survive, I just had to, for how can I ever leave you without letting you know how I felt about you.. How could i have died, without showing you that your love was the only thing keeping me alive. That even though I was lonely, I was never alone, your silent acts of affection, reminded me why I couldn't have left then.. how could I grow cold when your warmth was rejuvenating me. I needed you with me if i ever were to blossom again.. So I waited for you everyday just as I waited every year for nyctanthes in October..

I held on to your embrace to show you how much this dying heart beats for you. It worked I guess cause it was enough to keep you with till the end, till the end of me.. I know i'm just a memory now trying to last forever, but i really want you to know that its you and only you that kept me going, who gave me hope, fed me love and cloaked me with care and made me feel how it feels to be  alive again as i breathed heavily in you arms, as I saw you the last time.. I had to go Dan, suddenly, like i did the last time.. I'm sorry that i left without a goodbye, I hope you don't mind..